Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
