I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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