Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize