dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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