dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
ok first of all what the fuck
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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