Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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