if i can run in heels then i can drive
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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