needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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