I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cannot find my penis.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
