He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I checked into jail on foursquare
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Send help, water and tortillas.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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