I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
