i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Omg I joined a choir last night...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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