You really coming over, don't trick.
i think my tv is drunk
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need a burrito and a hug.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
