best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
