Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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