LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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