Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
