i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
