I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
