ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Two words: nipple clamps
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