I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
