I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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