I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
