I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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