I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can tuck mytits in my pants
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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