doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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