I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
