I wanna bring you to show and tell
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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