mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
