i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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