Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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