I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
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