oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
