i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my sisters under your porch take her home
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
