why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
