I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
