R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
