Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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