Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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