playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
PANTIES FOUND
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
