can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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