we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
