Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize