What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
