So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
