There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize