My Higher Power is John Stamos
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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