so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
