This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Enjoy the penises
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
