I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize