Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
