ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
