I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
