fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
