go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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