What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
