Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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