Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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