I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I would ride that face into the sunset
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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