she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
