My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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