I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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