A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
