By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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