Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
