Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
