people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
