No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
